Ear Worms

Yesterday, I spent about 9-10 hours sitting at my dining room table (y'all, those chairs aren't made for that much tushy time) - making masks.

First, I started for the woman up the street - that was about a week ago. I made about 16 for her - she's a cardiothoracic nurse of some sort. And of course, I had to make one for my favorite doctor, my cousin. Followed closely by 2 for my parents - because if they are going to go to the grocery store, for heaven's sake, cover your face! One for a friend's dad. And then I got a nudge to make two for my girlfriend in book club, she's a PA at the local hospital - who then came back and asked for 40 more.

Hence the tushy time at the table.

I pushed through the flat tush - I did take a good walk - and finished my night yelling at my bobbin for the umpteenth time.

Probably because I'm angry and depressed. I was supposed to be packing for our spring break trip. I was supposed to be going to see my BFF this week and then spending some much-needed family time at the ocean.

I wasn't supposed to go running out in the grass yesterday morning to see an ambulance at my neighbor's house. I wasn't supposed to hold my children - and my tears back - as they took out my beloved neighbor who was having respiratory distress.

No, I wasn't supposed to be doing that. 

But there I was. Wet hair, cold feet, in the grass, 10 feet from his wife, who I could not go hug. Because if he has this stupid virus, she probably does too.

ARGH!!!!

So - yes, that left me yelling at my machine at 8pm and saying that I was done for the day.

All to wake up this morning, to see the sun and to sit back down to finish yesterday's goal of 20.

I put on church - or at least 3 minutes of online church because everyone else was trying to do the same thing.

"Oh yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy..."

What?

Stop the machine. Listen some more:
"I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won't fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who's never late
Is working all things out
You're working all things out"

And then over and over, earworming from my brain to my fingers to the presser peddle to the mask in honor of my beloved cousin, and friend, and book club lady - and my neighbor. "Oh yes, I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy, all my days, oh yes I will."

My heart is heavy today. I'm worried, I'm tired. I'm anxious, I'm over this. And it's not over. Not nearly even over.

My BFF will still be there. Florida will still be there. And I want my neighbor to still be here.

So I will stay home for him. And for all.

I'll sing for joy.

And I'll keep sewing.